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Dealing With Difficult People

March 17, 2013

Hairless CatsLife will always present us with awkward, difficult people; and unless you want to live in a Himalayan cave you will have to learn how to deal with these people. We should not let difficult people, spoil our inner equanimity; with the right attitude we can maintain our peace of mind even when dealing with unpleasant people. These are some suggestions for dealing with difficult people.

Don’t Think about Them All the Time

Sometimes when people cause us difficulties they start to dominate our thoughts; this makes their presence seem very close. However, it is best to think about them as little as possible. Instead, concentrate on things and people who inspire you. Thinking about difficult people is not going to change how they behave, but it will cause us unhappiness.

Don’t Expect to Change Them

Awkward and unpleasant people are the least likely to be willing to change themselves. Don’t take it upon yourself to try and change their behaviour; you will most certainly fail. Furthermore, they will probably resent your interference and this will create further difficulties.

Don’t feel guilty

If people create problems in our life we can start to feel guilty, even though we have done nothing wrong. In cases like this we have to become detached; it is not our fault that they created problems for themselves. We do not have to become another problem. It is more important to seek to maintain a good attitude, despite their difficulties.

Silence Is a Powerful Weapon

When people say unreasonable things, the natural instinct is to try and argue with them. However, this draws us into their weird perspective. In many circumstances, it may be appropriate to maintain silence and not respond to what they say and do. By being silent, we are effectively ignoring them without having to criticise their actions. In silence their is great power; when we ignore them, they lose influence. Silence also gives us time to think a more measured and detached response, for later.

Retain Your Humour

Don’t feel obliged to take every situation seriously. Try to see the funny side. If people behave in a ridiculous way, don’t despair – just see the absurd behaviour as a humorous situation. The comical aspect of the TV program ‘The Office’ came simply from ordinary people behaving in unreasonable ways.

Learn from Them

If you have to work with a difficult people, the solution is rarely to change job. The likelihood is that you will find difficult people wherever you work. If you try to avoid difficult people, you will be permanently on the move. The thing to do is to change your attitude; rather than feeling depressed and guilty, we can see it is an opportunity for our self improvement. Through learning to deal with difficulty people, we will learn many valuable life skills.

Offer Goodwill

If we can offer goodwill even to difficult people, we will make tremendous progress. Unpleasant people may deserve criticism, but, this will not help the situation. Even the most difficult person may have one or two good qualities. Try to mention these. Subconsciously they will appreciate our goodwill.

Source: 7 Effective ways for Dealing with Difficult People, Tejvan Pettinger, http://www.srichinmoybio.co.uk

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From → Emotions, Health

4 Comments
  1. Amanda permalink

    This was perfect timing for me to read. Thanks! I’m so bad at this, because i let these awful people consume my every thought even though i know its unhealthy.

    • Lol. No problem. I was just reminding myself of it. I am more like the cat. But, it is better to see that difficutl people do not have to be my problem. And work on getting them out of my head, instead of trying to ‘help’ them. 🙂

  2. Wonderful advice on how to deal with those “impossible” people! Thanks for sharing!

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